A friend of mine recently thought about killing himself. Sat in his bedroom, all by himself, with a gun in his mouth, loaded, gathering the insanity that is required to pull the trigger. In that lonely night, when all seemed lost to him, thinking about the misery that his life has become, he later told me that something I had said a about the only two things one can write without an outline being a love letter or a suicide note and in the end they are really the same note - flashed through his mind, he burst out laughing, the gloom lifted, he put the gun down. That laughter saved his life and gave me back a really good friend whom I would have missed dearly.
For some reason, may be it is the corporate America training thing that I missed out on, that majority of people are gloomy on purpose. Blame the high gas price, the sad drama that is (former) Big 3 and dumb politicos if you may - BUT if before this, I have always felt that most people get up in the morning on a stated mission of having a miserably day.
If you have a family, ten toes, ten fingers, health and you can walk, talk, see, hear and think for yourself - you have no right to be so serious all the time especially running your business. Do whatever they tell you to do 9-5 in your job. I understand that. Be serious. Look stoic. They pay you. You should do what they tell you.
But in business for yourself and carrying this much gloom on your shoulders? Why? People equate seriousness with seriousness of purpose. They are different. Much easier actually to get what you want with sweetened butter and a smile than a dour expression and a limp handshake.
Want to make people remember you? Want to do business with you? Seek out you company? Want to be their friends? Learn how to make them laugh when they are with you. Your customers, clients, private investors, website visitors, prospects - who ever you do or want to do business with want to feel good. You can get what you want if you give them what they have always wanted; what everybody wants - happiness.
The biggest videos on YouTube are the funny videos. Comics get read by millions of people every day. Jay Leno makes more money than Chris Matthews. Here is another crazy thing - majority of real estate investors are extremely fun to talk to. They are articulate, funny, sarcastic, witty and quick with a comeback. But read their blogs, Twitter, websites or their marketing and it is oh so serious. All the time.
One of the ways to build true mental toughness is to have a sense of humor about life. Not just with your spouse. Not with just with your best friend. Not just with your grandkids. But all the time. With everybody. Read comics, joke books, watch late night shows starting monologues, Bill Maher, Comedy Network. This list is big and available in many affordable even free ways. You don't have to become a stand up comic. Just laugh more often. If not for your own sanity than for business reasons and you can find reasons for happiness everywhere.
I used to take a bus to work and school growing up. It was pretty hot. The bus was full of people. Crowded and packed like a can of sardines. Now I drive my own car. Reason for happiness.
Used to work for somebody. Unhappy after five years. Now own my business. Reason for happiness.
Felt lonely when I came to USA. Now have a family. Reason for happiness.
Just finished writing this page and there are still minutes left on the clock. I intend to walk outside, sit on my porch (it is a glorious sunny Tuesday) and drink a double espresso with lots of sugar. Reason for happiness.
