August 2009 Archives

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, says that all entrepreneurs should have a personal board of directors. 4-5 people that you should be able to call and find your business north just in case if you are faced with a big decision or just feeling lost when faced with different roads to take.

I have a less elegant version - who is on your cell phone speed dial 2, 3 and 4 that you can call to toss what is going on in your business life and see what comes back?

Majority of the calls that come to me always make me think on why did they not call me BEFORE. They are crises prevention calls. Not calls that beget profitable choices. Very rarely does somebody call me and say that here are four choices of mine to make, here are my pros and cons for all of them, tell me honestly and frankly and don't worry about my feelings - which road should I take?

You dream alone. You make it real with the help, support and work of people around you.

The self-made man is a myth. Almost as bad a myth as an overnight success. That does not exist either but in the minds of reporters and business magazine writers, none of them have ever owned a business. They think that their readers will be happy, reading a rags-to-riches story if they can just delete the years of hard work and self-doubt and just go directly to the finish line. It sells magazines but it is not true.

I think a lot about what I do differently now compared to what I was doing 5 years ago, three years ago, and the one big thing that stands out is that I do things faster, much faster now. Part of it the ticking clock in my head and a large part of it are the 3 people who form the core of my own personal innermost inner circle, to whom I can call when I am faced with big decisions: to buy or not to buy, to launch or not to launch, to partner up or not to partner up, to pick this thing to pursue and drop that thing.

The really big things. The sharp turns. The crossroads that don't come with a detailed map but your gut knows before your head does that they are the ones.

You should also work hard to also have a inner-inner circle of your own. Real estate investing, entrepreneurial mindset, Internet strategy, mental toughness, contacts, staying focused on what needs to be done - business life unfortunately is not that simple as having a job where your duties are well defined, the clock does ends at 5:00pm, Monday to Friday and when you go home, you leave what you do at work. The tribe of the real estate entrepreneur that you belong wears a different color than the rest of them out there.

Checking your own ego at the door and calling three people and asking for their help is not exactly Viagra for your self-esteem but it is the right thing, the smart thing to do. It is also something that the majority of entrepreneurs never do. That alone is reason enough for me to do it. Lots of minutes come with your cell phone plan. Use them profitably.

So I get a message from Doug Benson early today regarding a house he is flipping in Lansing area:

"Who needs a testimonial for video? I shot my first ever in my entire life on Saturday, completely ad-lib, total hack job, put it up on the web Saturday night. Today is Thursday...three written and one verbal offer in the last two days...ALL for more than asking price and ALL saw the video. Clear proof that I am a NOVICE at this game (but a fast learner!)"

Doug Benson is one of those real estate investors in Michigan that you need to closely follow. He along with his business partner and better half Deb does everything in real estate investing in Lansing and he does everything exceptionally well.

If you are in Lansing, Mason, Holt area or live around these towns - do yourself a favor and bookmark his Adventures in Michigan Real Estate page on Facebook so you can learn from Doug.

Like how he just used a video on YouTube to sell get three offers on one of his houses in the Lansing area.

Better still if you are on Facebook than you need to Fan his page up (the link is right here in the box underneath) so you can get regular updates on his business. If you are not on Facebook yet - he is a good reason to join like right now.

1. Although financing remains tight (no business credit, 25% down mortgage financing where you have to give up your first born, impossible to get home equity lines of credit) agile real estate investors everywhere in Michigan have adapted to using self directed IRA's, deal partnerships, private money LLC's to still buy some of the cheapest deals you and I will ever see in the next decade or so.

Mark Ijlal Says: if you have no clue what the above three lines meant that you are missing out some of the fastest growing ways of financing deals in Michigan. Learn these strategies or sit on the sidelines. There is no other option.

2. More competition as bidding for REO's is heating up everywhere in Michigan. Prices have dropped so much that the investor who could afford to buy 1 house every three months to flip or hold can afford to buy 3 right now. First time home buyers have entered into the game too as more and more REO's come into the Michigan requiring less and less rehab. The $8,000 tax credit also helped a lot of renters to get the ball rolling into becoming first time homebuyers.

Mark Ijlal Says: Now if you find a good deal - you better move and move fast because you have more competition on these crazy good deals in the last half of 2009 than you had back in March. Also a rainy week is a great time to take your friendly REO broker some donuts and remind him or her that you exist and you are in the market for some killer deals.

Lastly read #1 again: when you have three other investors bidding against you, you better be ready with cash in hand. It is hard to convince any experienced REO broker or any sane asset manager that "my loan officer said that getting a loan wont be a problem at all." Yeah sure.

3. Banks are finally acting like a business instead of acting like drunk bozos and realizing that doing a short sale makes more "business sense" than holding a house for 12 months in Michigan, turning it into a REO, pay all back taxes, pay a REO broker and an asset management company and then sell it in for less than half for what it is owed or even more depending upon the Michigan city it is located in. So banks are moving short sales and trying to minimize the number of houses going into REO's.

4.If this trend #3 continues than in the coming 12 months you will see a decrease in the REO inventory in all Michigan cities (the 90 days freeze on foreclosures is also contributing to this) and a heat up in short sale deals.

Mark Ijlal Says: If you are nodding your head on #3 and #4 then start learning and become good at doing short sales in your Michigan city. No rehab. No repair. Suburban houses. Fifty cents on the dollar or else. Ride the wave and pick some deals up.

5. Further proof that the #3 and #4 are going to once again change the way deals are found and bought (REO's to Short Sales; REO's up; Short Sales rising once again) all within the last 3 years is that I know at least two dozen people whose loans have been modified drastically by the banks to avoid foreclosures. Granted these people were not one month away from eviction but merely facing hard times but dropping a 5.75% 30 year fixed mortgage to a 2.99% fixed shows that banks are thinking more rationally for a change and are willing to make deals happen with home owners (via loan mods) and with you, the real estate investor in Michigan via short sales.

My advice: Get in short sales now.

6. Be found ONLINE and in the REAL WORLD where deals are happening, people are talking, hands are being shook, new friendships formed. You have been hiding for the last 18 months since the recession started but now it is time to get out of hibernation and be seen.

REIA meetings are fine and you should go to them. They are a perfect place to break the ice, drink some fruit punch and meet new people around your local cities who are either trying to break into the world of real estate investing in Michigan or are already active doing deals.

But at the same time spent as much time in front of your computer in places like Facebook because that is where most real estate investors who are serious about their business are being found today. It is the biggest cocktail party in the world, to make friends, to meet new people, to expose your business via Facebook Business Fan Pages to completely new set of people who don't know you but would like to.

Being serious about it is not an option anymore. If you are not found and I am in your city - the deal, the partnership, the lead for that killer short sale deal is going to me and not you.

Mark Ijlal Says: Give yourself till the end of year. Go join Facebook. It is free. Make a fan page for your business. Have fun with it. You will like it and all the new people it will bring to your business.

7. It was talking to Tim O'Riley last night who is a member of Mark Ijlal Inner Circle, my coaching group for Michigan real estate investors and I said 'Tim don't waste your time in resurrecting dead bodies.'

When you and me are sitting in a Starbucks and I just told that I am dead ass broke, please don't try to convince me to buy a wholesale deal from you. It is a waste of your time and energy.

If you are doing an Open House and the first three people just told you that their credit is 450 - don't send them to your loan officer in hopes for a miracle.

If you intend to rent your home - try to find the best possible tenant that has the best possible chance based on their income, job history, past renting history to pay you every month and not because they are dating your girlfriend second cousin or her mother just baked you some cookies.

If you intend to flip your home than try to find a deal with as much equity as possible so you have room to do mad concessions for the buyer and you still have money left instead of buying a marginal deal ($10,000 left after all is said and done) or worse deluding yourself into thinking that YOU can flip a small two bedroom home with no basement because well because rules of Michigan real estate investing don't apply to you.

Mark Ijlal Says: Come one... do you really want to waste the last half of 2009 trying very hard to prove some idiotic point or do you want to make some money?

It is much more easier to convince other people to do things your way then to convince yourself to do the things that need to be done. Motivation interests me as a topic. Why people do the things they do? How come so many people don't act on the knowledge they already have?

What makes one person move mountains with sheer will while the other person just stares blankly at the opportunity lying at their feet? I think about these things not as something to teach or write about but as a practical manner. If I know more about my operating system - the better I operate what lies between my ears: the better off I would be getting what I want most out of my time.

So I am in the cleanup mode right now. Finishing up everything that needs to be wrapped up summer is officially over. Throwing out massive amounts of stuff that is done and over with. Deleting all the documents that were important during the first months of 2009 and now mean nothing. Making a list of people that need to be charmed in the last four months of 2009. And a list of people that turned out to be a disappointment in 2009 and do not require any more thought or attention from me. Stacking up the cookbooks that I don't use anymore for the recycle bin. Cleanup. Make room. Out with the old, IN with the new, being done with a sharp gleaming razor without mercy.

At the same time, there is this loud voice banging in my head, non-stop, about 2009. It is just one question really - What do I really want to accomplish in the last four months of 2009 and is everything I intend to do in 2009 is helping me move closer to it?

The destruction and havoc this one question is creating is painful. Three other business proposals for 2009 that I was very interested in four months ago now lie lifeless. Things change (in the world, in Michigan, in my life, new opportunities appear, some ideas go stale, some people start to bore me to death, a person with more hunger to succeed and get things done comes in my life) and all I can do with cold blooded mechanical efficiency - change with the times, pick what is working and take a knife to discard what is old news.

I started with a big list last year. Did hit majority of them - recession or no recession. Two big personal disappointments. Both of them got to do with me more than anything else. Sometimes looking in the mirror is ugly but necessary.

Another one big disappointment regarding a business deal that was on track to go on with somebody and just did not work out. That was probably my fault too.

Oh well!

For the remaining 2009 I just have three targets with red paint. All three worthy of complete and undivided attention. All resulting in excitement in getting up in the morning and climbing the mountain of self-doubt and procrastination and not just because the view from the top of the mountain is better (it is) but also the journey is almost as fun as reaching the peak.

One thing is to know what you would like to have, own, know, master in the coming four months before Ryan Seacrest drops the ball in NY. To make that list is a joyful task. Second is to know what stands in your way - fear of failure, own lack of confidence and knowledge, contacts that you don't have yet, self doubt, and people who are going to slow you down - this list of Things-To-Destroy is not as fun to make. But that is where all the money and profits are.

Patrick Kinney emailed me this video.

So some months ago, I sat in a meeting room and saw hours and hours of hard work and planning, crash and burn in flames. Five people sat in the room, none of them said YES. Why did it happen? Does it matter if the referee call was wrong in the last 30 seconds of the game and your home team lost? No matter how upset you get - the record book will still say LOSS.

So the reason of why that happened is really not that important but if you are curious about it: it is the same old thing of WHO. Everything (the PowerPoint, the pitch, the room temperature, the process) was good. And the five people actually liked everything they heard - they just had no money to give to us. WHO was wrong. Those five entrepreneurs should not have been in that room to begin with. So good game. Zero points.

Can't get orange juice out of watermelons. Need oranges for that.

So now what? Seven years ago I would have gone into a complete state of shock for weeks. Depressed. Disgusted with my self. Drowning in a sea of self doubt and pity ("Why me? Why do all these bad things happen to me only?") I would have made my life and my associates life miserable for at least a good month.

Now it took around 60 minutes and one cold Blue Moon to brush it off. Went home, ate some food I had cooked the night before, and read a 50 page contract that just got faxed over, moved this business to the bottom of priorities for the next 60 days and pushed two other projects on top of it, thought of a good domain name for the online marketing business, got talking to a vendor who wants to break in to the same industry and wants to do a joint venture and has access to a list of 13,000 local business who are his past clients, Nora was still in love with me and had some fresh baklava from this hole in the wall bakery in Oak Park, thought about dumping my iPhone and checking out the new Google phone (the virtual keyboard on iPhone is terrible for writing anything more than a domain name) and then finally read around 50 pages of the new John Sandford novel before passing out.

Over all a pretty good and productive day despite my plan going down in the flames earlier. Brian Tracy says that everybody falls down. It is how soon you get up that matters. Took me seven years to understand that.

The dark side of speeding everything up is you will see failure fast. And then you just move on. For some that is hard to digest. I know. It is not easy to internalize that. Took me a while too. Knowing is one thing. Understanding is another.

But very few things are that bad or that good. It is our own childish expectations, this fantasy that we secretly carry in our own heart that somehow everything is going out to turn out to be perfect that is at the bottom of our own disappointments.

Hey, I am pretty pissed that nobody signed BUT in a world full of potential - they are ONLY five wrong people.

That is all.

A mistake was made. Penance paid in time and money. Now we either fix it or dump the idea. What else is there to do? The sky is still blue. The moon still came out. And there are deals to be made, things to put in play, people to meet and plan my next wine tasting party.

Life is good and full of opportunity. Even on days like when my fantasy of everything going right did not came true. Couple of hours were bad but that is why we have 24 hours in a day.

The rest of the day was pretty good.

Many moons ago, my partner at that time and I spend hours talking about our business. We planned, we plotted, we thought of strategies, we wrote bullets, we drew plans on napkins, and countless yellow legal pads died a glorious death between the two of us.

We were excited, perpetually, all the time, jumping up and down, high-fiving, blood rushing to our head, our ears red with the possibilities that lay ahead of us. We tossed ideas. We bumped heads. We laughed. We argued. We saw a bright future clearly as the blue sky that was outside the office windows. We knew that we had IT.

We also did absolutely nothing to move our business forward. Talking about the business turned out to be much more fun than actually doing something about it. We had momentum. It was just sideways - from him to me; from me to him. We never moved forward.

Took me some months to realize that we were not making any money. That it was not enough to just talk about anything we wanted to do but I actually had to sit down, lock the office door, pull the blinds down and type away till my fingers hurt. That I had to put up a website to flip houses. That I had to actually stand in front of a room, gulp down the nervousness that was flooding my throat and actually convince people to buy wholesale deals from me. That I had to actually learn, no matter how much the technical details bored me to death, everything I could about blogging and online marketing and direct response marketing and SEO because that had the secret to take my bigger and older and more established competition out of the game on the Internet.

To succeed I needed forward motion. Not sideways. Not bouncing here and there, from idea to idea, from tactic to tactic, from excitement to excitement but clear, cold, measurable forward momentum.

How many emails did you write last week to reach new people to introduce your business? To people you know already to plant seeds for future deal partnerships? Do you end every conversation with a hook to start another conversation about your real estate business? Did you send out that letter you have been thinking about?

That my friends is called forward momentum. Boldly going where you have not gone before. Not talking about it. Not spending anytime in self doubt. Just moving forward so fast that by the times the ugly claws of self-doubt start to turn tight against your heart - you are already in it. Beyond stopping.

One of the ways is to insure that you get it going on, is to get ignition. Call somebody that you respect. Tell them what you intend to do in the next 24 hours. Hang up. Call them again the day after and tell them what happened. Did you do it? Did you not do it? How many times can you call that person you respect and make excuses?

Money loves speed. Money also loves movement. The forward kind. High-fiving each other is great. What you do afterward, with you alone in the room, is even more important.

Move forward. Move fast.

A week is starting today.

Where do you intend to go in this week?

Mark Twain said that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. If you keep getting the result you don't want in your life, take a look at what you are doing and just STOP doing it.

It is not something I look at every day but it is something that is seared in my head. Some I can share. Some I cannot (too personal even for an open book like me) but it is good idea for us investors / entrepreneurs / want-to-own-and-do-my-thing types to make a list like this. I wish I had this list when I started. Would have saved money and time - lots of it. Here are 4 on my list, in no particular order:

1. No Wall Street: I lost $15,000 trying to figure out the US stock market back in 1999-2000. Remember that was the dot-com boom/bust cycle. Made money in the beginning (all jackasses are genius in a rising market. Yours truly included) and then subsequently lost everything in the bust. The $15,000 back then was a lot and lots of money.

Our money that we could not afford to lose especially when we were starting out in real estate and starting our own business. So we made an agreement between us - no Wall Street. Period. I don't buy stocks. Not even mutual funds. Get constantly poked fun of by my friends about it. Although some times (like this year) I do get envy also.

As far as using financial planners: their advice about refinancing your home and putting that money in the stock market never made any sense to me at all. Not then. Not now.

2. No Business Without Background Research: I went into three businesses that subsequently went bust because I was too stupid and too excited eight years ago to think straight. If instead of jumping head first into the thing I had looked into the history of the thing for two weeks... would have saved myself lots of grief.

3. No sitting at home / behind a counter in a store / behind a nice desk in a private office, waiting to be discovered. Good quote: "Success does not comes to you. You go to it." I did that several times because lets be fair, that is what the most do. They sit somewhere and wait. And pretty soon they become very good at sitting in the waiting room of life.

Finally I got it: nobody cares, nobody is coming. All up to me to make the world / market notice me. Go out and make noise. Lots of it. Funerals in Hong Kong have fireworks and firecrackers. I need to tell Nora to do the same for my funeral. They should know who is leaving.

4. Stop spending time with people who don't say challenging things that make you uncomfortable and amazed at the same time. I try to do this every month at Ijlal Inner Circle Mastermind. Believe me it will be without effort to repeat REO / Short Sale / REO / Short Sale / Rehab / Mold over and over again, every month till I turn blue. But where is the fun in that?

I feel obligated (without them asking) to take my members into new roads with me. Every month. Every author who had influence and lasting change on me, made me uncomfortable and challenge my what I thought at that time was true (Kiyosaki: not counting equity in net worth; Brody: safe harbor / no debt) was shock to the system at first. Profit later.

I read every day.

There, I just told you how to become extraordinarily smart in a matter of months. No pills, no hypnosis, no motivational tapes, no speed-reading course, nothing needed but this. Read every single day. No matter what day it is. Seven days. 365 days per year. Different books. Variety of topics that interest you but read, like your life depends on it.

I read all kind of books. I read different kind of books simultaneously, the same way when you go out to eat, you order salad / soup, entrée, and dessert. Nobody, unless you are in LA, just orders salad. Currently reading Personality Not Included by Rohit Bhargava; Hot, Flat and Crowded by Thomas Friedman and The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller. Blogs and newsletters that I subscribe to and read don't count toward this neither does a speed-reading of Detroit Free Press and NY Times early in the morning.

I have been reading since I was may be 5 or 6 years old. A lot of things, people and relationships have come and gone in my life since then - my love for the written word stays as a constant. Some people read books because they have to - students in school or grownups in order to get a promotion.

Some read books as a shortcut to gaining some specific skill or knowledge - Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Building Websites for Dummies, Bobby Flays Boy Meets Grille. Some even want to be seen carrying books in their hands to feel and look smart. I had a friend once who told me that in order to get what was in any book, he just had to read the first few and the last couple of pages and he got it. I, fortunately, am not that smart. I want to flip each page, one by one and read the whole book.

Has it ever happened to you that you were reading a book that was so good that you slowed your reading down because you did not want the book to finish? Is it not just the best feeling in the world? I read books because I simply and utterly love the idea of travelling without moving an inch. I read them cover to cover, line by line, word by word.

Two shortcuts for you: If you want to become good at writing, really really fast - blogs, letters, advertising copy, whatever - read and read lots and lots of fiction. There is an old saying in computing - Garbage In, Garbage Out - GIGO - from the good ol' mainframe computing days. You feed a machine, garbage; out comes stuff that looks and smells like garbage. You feed your brain an elegant, beautifully written paragraph - out come words from your head that spread and influence.

This is also the place where 90% of aspiring copywriters and bloggers get upset. They want to read business books, marketing books, serious books. The kind of ones they can talk about in polite company and feel good about themselves. The Dark Knight Returns? The complete Ian Fleming 007 collection? Harry Potter - WTF???? Equally funny is their belief that once they have read two books of fiction - their writing will improve immediately. Try 2000 books if you are thinking any significant different.

Shortcut #2: If you want to become really good at conversation with anybody at everything and be able to say the last word, all the time. Read books, lots of them. Don't worry about the topics. Pay more attention to the quality of the writing. There are books in every topic that pretty much define the genre and more importantly, unlike blogs and newspaper stories - great books don't come with an expiry date on the back.

Emerill credits The Magic of Thinking Big (published in 40's) as pretty much the sole reason besides bone crushing hard work for his success. I credit Rich Dad, Poor Dad as the cold-water-slap-to-my-face that woke me up to start looking around in Michigan to find something better to do than work for somebody for the rest of my life. Ask anybody who is anywhere in life right now and not just money wise - satisfaction with just sun rising in the easy every day type of thing - and I can bet you that there is a book, somewhere, some place, that triggered that journey.

Here is the real recession in our country... 80% of all books sold at Amazon.com are gifts. 75% of adult Americans admit that they have read 2 books since graduating from high school. Very few things depress me. This is one of them.

Politicians, when racing for the biggest prize in the political land - The Presidency of the United States - go on the road, shake hands, hug babies, and show their faces. No other alternative to that. Even with all the television, talk shows, blogs, news, YouTube, FaceBook, Twitter, MySpace; they still understand that there is no substitute to showing your face to the people who will matter to your win, making campaign stops, going to different places where you don't go usually. But when there is an election in play, a win to be had, they would go wherever it is needed to do it.

All small business owners and entrepreneurs run a perpetual campaign. A small percentage understands it. Most don't. Our campaign is to get rich, to have a profitable business, to extract wealth, to get cash, to get to a point where you ONLY work with people you like working with, doing things that you want to do.

This campaign runs continuously in our businesses. There is no date in November where it ends and really good politicians never stop campaigning. Obama was campaigning for the presidency long before he was elected Senator. McCain has been campaigning now for the last thirty years.

Us entrepreneurs need to make some regular campaign stops also, this came up yesterday. In a conversation with two of my good friends who are doing very good in their respective businesses in Michigan. We all agreed that all three of us are failing to make enough campaign stops, not hugging enough babies, and not shaking enough hands. We are becoming complacent a little.

Getting used to technology doing it for us. Webinars, websites, blogs, videos, emails, conference calls and that has to change. Not enough to truly build a bullet proof business. No matter who's busy all three of us are, we got to get out more. Meet more people. Face to face. Knees touching. Handshakes and espresso. Make a calendar to go out every single week no matter what hell is breaking loose.

So one way of measuring progress in your business is to count the money, the deals, the checks coming in, the traffic to your website, the phone calls to your hotlines, the followers that you got on Twitter, the friends you made on FaceBook. Another one, a new one to add to the mix could be how many people you saw last week? How many hands you shook last week? How many campaign stops you made last week? To introduce yourself, your business, your goals to people who don't know you.

We are all running a campaign. Good idea would be to be aware of it and do something about it. I don't want to lose and go home. Neither should you.

14 years ago, upon landing in Ypsilanti, Michigan and working in a local video store from 9am to Midnight was probably the third best thing that ever happened to me back then.

The first best, just in case you are wondering, was finally landing in USA, second was meeting Nora.

Business was slow at night - this was a residential area. A rough residential area now actually going through some major development. But 13 years ago, the time after 9pm to all the way to midnight was a dead zone. Some customers would walk in and rent porno's which was our biggest profit center.

Some guy would walk in, smoking a big fat blunt, right in plain view and rent 10 westerns (the $.99 special) and leave, laughing hysterically. It was, as the saying goes, an interesting time for me. . I worked all by myself. My other co-workers would leave at 8:30pm and it was me, standing, there were no chairs to sit, for the next 3 hours, waiting for the next customer to walk in.

At first I hated these three slow hours. I thought I would lose my mind. I could not watch another rerun of Lion King. But after 2 months of stewing and fuming I figured that I was screwed and what I am gonna do that might help me later.

First thing I did - I started fooling around with the video software that they had. Pretty soon I learned all kinds of nifty reports that we could actually print and control inventory. Next my boss had just bought a new computer loaded with Windows 95. I started fooling around with that.

Taught myself Excel and then Access (it is a database) just hitting the F1 key and reading Help screens. I went to the local Ypsilanti library and borrowed 2 books on Excel and Access. After I told my boss all the nifty little things I could do with the video software (Which movies are stolen and which are just late? What categories are renting and which are not?) and MS-Excel (monthly Profit and Loss) - I got promoted.

It was a fifty cents promotion - instead of $5 I was making an incredible $5.50 per hour. But the big idea that got hooked in my head was this - I have all this "free time" here and there - 20 minutes here, 1 hour there - lets spend it in learning things that will help me one day. Once again no idea when this day would come or how. Incidentally the knowledge about Microsoft Access, something I have learned during those video days played a large part in my retail career 12 months later. The dots connected 12 months later and lead me to roads that I have never dreamed about.

But that "habit" of stealing time, here and there, got its claws in me. We all get the same amount of time. You have to fight, steal, claw, bite your way to find the minutes to piece together what you want out of life. Your wife, husband, children, pastor, boss, friends, lovers - all band together in a vast conspiracy to stop you, by any means - guilt, love, food - because they love you and want you to be with them and not spend time, away from them, with your dreams.

Every day, I get up and I have responsibilities - to my family, to my business partners, to my clients, to my vendors - who all demand justifiably that I spend some time with them. But they don't know that I have a secret plan. Of stealing minutes, here and there, to learn, to flight into the future, to find out what is new and exciting in the world, to think about not where I was or where I am but where I want to be.

Karen Lamb wrote, "A year from now, you may wish you had started today."

It is something to think about, at least once a day, if you are serious about your business in Michigan.

A friend of mine recently thought about killing himself. Sat in his bedroom, all by himself, with a gun in his mouth, loaded, gathering the insanity that is required to pull the trigger. In that lonely night, when all seemed lost to him, thinking about the misery that his life has become, he later told me that something I had said a about the only two things one can write without an outline being a love letter or a suicide note and in the end they are really the same note - flashed through his mind, he burst out laughing, the gloom lifted, he put the gun down. That laughter saved his life and gave me back a really good friend whom I would have missed dearly.

For some reason, may be it is the corporate America training thing that I missed out on, that majority of people are gloomy on purpose. Blame the high gas price, the sad drama that is (former) Big 3 and dumb politicos if you may - BUT if before this, I have always felt that most people get up in the morning on a stated mission of having a miserably day.

If you have a family, ten toes, ten fingers, health and you can walk, talk, see, hear and think for yourself - you have no right to be so serious all the time especially running your business. Do whatever they tell you to do 9-5 in your job. I understand that. Be serious. Look stoic. They pay you. You should do what they tell you.

But in business for yourself and carrying this much gloom on your shoulders? Why? People equate seriousness with seriousness of purpose. They are different. Much easier actually to get what you want with sweetened butter and a smile than a dour expression and a limp handshake.

Want to make people remember you? Want to do business with you? Seek out you company? Want to be their friends? Learn how to make them laugh when they are with you. Your customers, clients, private investors, website visitors, prospects - who ever you do or want to do business with want to feel good. You can get what you want if you give them what they have always wanted; what everybody wants - happiness.

The biggest videos on YouTube are the funny videos. Comics get read by millions of people every day. Jay Leno makes more money than Chris Matthews. Here is another crazy thing - majority of real estate investors are extremely fun to talk to. They are articulate, funny, sarcastic, witty and quick with a comeback. But read their blogs, Twitter, websites or their marketing and it is oh so serious. All the time.

One of the ways to build true mental toughness is to have a sense of humor about life. Not just with your spouse. Not with just with your best friend. Not just with your grandkids. But all the time. With everybody. Read comics, joke books, watch late night shows starting monologues, Bill Maher, Comedy Network. This list is big and available in many affordable even free ways. You don't have to become a stand up comic. Just laugh more often. If not for your own sanity than for business reasons and you can find reasons for happiness everywhere.

I used to take a bus to work and school growing up. It was pretty hot. The bus was full of people. Crowded and packed like a can of sardines. Now I drive my own car. Reason for happiness.

Used to work for somebody. Unhappy after five years. Now own my business. Reason for happiness.

Felt lonely when I came to USA. Now have a family. Reason for happiness.

Just finished writing this page and there are still minutes left on the clock. I intend to walk outside, sit on my porch (it is a glorious sunny Tuesday) and drink a double espresso with lots of sugar. Reason for happiness.